Find Me Where I

Find my adventurous soul

After my flesh gaily laughs

The tedious day away,

Comfy on a rock neighboured by –

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Essentials For A Happier Life: II. Count Your Blessings, Be Grateful

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Stop with the whimpers! Stop with the freaking complaints!

How many times are we going to kick about the things we do not possess? How long do we have to bollix up our happy moments by feeling down because we ‘are not’ where we think we have to be in life? How much yawping must our souls endure before we take a look at the good things that we are blessed with?

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Essentials For A Happier Life: I. Hush Inner Critic, Hush!

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We all have this self-judge, the inner critic, the ‘guy’ behind pretty more of the bad feelings we undergo in our daily lives. As human beings, we all are natural judges, but what differ are our levels of judging (as I pointed out in Being Judgemental). But the inner critic needs to be obliterated if one is to live a happier life. Being well aware that we (probably) have all read or heard about silencing the inner critic, I will make this post as compact as possible.

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Why Be In Love?

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With the protectiveness

Of a ghetto tortoise, I inexorably

Warded my lush heart, till from heaven you

Unexpectedly flew down, unthawing my carapace

Red Heart Diaries: Falling’

Many a time have I sat down with friends, both male and female, and discussed whether being in love is necessary or not. The question under discussion has always been “Why don’t people think it proper to be in love?”

My findings have been that most people think being in love is stupid, or pointless as The Weeknd mentions in “Tell Your Friends”. I’m always of the view that being in love is the best thing out here. Why? Read on. I hope this brief post will benefit someone who has negative views on love as those forementioned.

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RESPECT ALL PEOPLE: ALL HUMAN LIFE IS IMPORTANT

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Welcome to planet earth, where the inhabitants tend to put value on a life depending on the social, economic and educational status of the life’s owner (the person). What a wonderful world where we regard the other as useless because their ‘miserable’ positions are not on par with those we occupy!

One of the problems facing our communities right now is the inadequacy in understanding and accepting the binarism of life. Things are always different (I choose not to use the word opposite) from each other and that is normal; that is how the universe is, and there is no problem with that.

One has to be poor for the other to be rich. One has to be educated for the other to be uneducated. One has to be the general manager for the other to be a cleaner. For my shoe to be repaired, I need a cobbler. This clearly shows that we all are different. For you to be who you are, I have to be who I am.

“In this age, what the human race does not need or miss is a person who disregards the importance of others based on feeble grounds.”

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Loving Thyself

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A lot of writers have written about how you can love yourself, what loving yourself means, the beauty behind loving yourself and other things like that. The fact that many people have written about ‘loving yourself’ keeps this subject as important as any important subject there is out there. Perhaps before diving deeper into this subject you should realise the real and ultimate importance of loving yourself.

No life is worth living if you don’t love yourself. Why? Because your life is about you. Whenever you say life is good or life is bad, you’re talking about your life, and nobody else’s. That’s why you have to realise that your life’s goodness or severity depends on how you nourish it. So when everybody talks about life, it’s theirs they are talking about hence the unquestionable need to love your life; yourself. I want to share a unique way of how you can start to love yourself. Don’t want to waste your time so this message will be as short as Kevin Hart. 1, 2, 3 bang! Let’s go!

In a world where conformity or fitting in proves to be one of the undoubtedly core reasons to anxiety, depression and other emotional-related problems, you are left hanging in the air if you are busy seeking to fit in and be accepted, when other people are escalating high up in their dreams. Seeking to fit in is problematic in many ways, the pivotal one being making you not to live life as you wish and as you are supposed to do. Seeking to conform and fit in sucks the great life out of you. But every problem has its own solution, thanks to the gods of possibilities.

“Seeking to conform and fit in sucks the great life out of you”

Instead of trying to live in accordance to other people’s set standards which do not clearly marry with your inner picture of a happy living, instead of trying to change yourself, trying to fit in, trying to be acceptable to some people, trying to be loved, all you have to do is change your self-perception and start to accept who you are – a normal human being with a unique life. You want to fit in? The negative opinions of others make you feel down? You desperately want to be loved? My dear, stop that! Just…stop that! Who are you living for?

Get to understand that there are things you can change and others that you clearly can’t change. So what things can’t you change? Your looks, your voice, your family members. Accepting these things leads to a happy life for you get to be at perfect peace with your soul and sing that ‘It Is Well with My Soul’ song happily as you mean every single word of it. Accept how you look, nobody has to tell you you’re not beautiful, beauty is subjective and even if it weren’t, you never chose to look the way you are, you are what you are and you’re unique in that way. Never be like Pecola Breedlove from The Bluest Eye, living by the definitions of others.

Acceptance comes together with changing your outlook on things. Nobody is perfect, you probably know this. Start to see yourself differently. Start to see your life differently. Start to see yourself as a complete human being who deserves to be loved, respected, accepted, and cared for, remembered etcetera. Unless you dress yourself with positive energy, good vibes, you’ll carry yourself with a negative air. And aren’t negative people not attractive? Yeah, my sentiments exactly.

“Start to see yourself differently. Start to see your life differently. Start to see yourself as a complete human being who deserves to be loved, respected, accepted, and cared for, remembered…”

Nobody will make your life worthier living than yourself. The ‘start’ button of a happy life is yours to press. Nobody will love your life as much as you love it – unless maybe your momma and Jesus – but, nobody, I repeat nobody, will love you as much as you love yourself if you don’t love yourself. Lovers will love us greatly but they’ll do so because they themselves love themselves first. If you love yourself so much, you’ll learn to love others so much and in return you’ll receive just as much love as you deserve – when you love necessary people of course. You’ll love others just as you love yourself for you know the value of love having desperately needed it before.

So LOVE THYSELF. Don’t care about what anybody says. YOUR LIFE IS ABOUT YOU AND NOBODY ELSE. You only live once so why don’t you live that life up now? You’re unique, perfect in your imperfections. Love thyself and accept who you are by changing how you look at yourself and the things and people around you. Your life, as perfectly imperfect as it is, is worth living, ask Justin Bieber. I want you to be happy and live life to the fullest so LOVE THYSELF!

That’s it, really.

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Copyright © Victor Zuze Davies 2017

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