Essentials For A Happier Life: II. Count Your Blessings, Be Grateful

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Stop with the whimpers! Stop with the freaking complaints!

How many times are we going to kick about the things we do not possess? How long do we have to bollix up our happy moments by feeling down because we ‘are not’ where we think we have to be in life? How much yawping must our souls endure before we take a look at the good things that we are blessed with?

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Essentials For A Happier Life: I. Hush Inner Critic, Hush!

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We all have this self-judge, the inner critic, the ‘guy’ behind pretty more of the bad feelings we undergo in our daily lives. As human beings, we all are natural judges, but what differ are our levels of judging (as I pointed out in Being Judgemental). But the inner critic needs to be obliterated if one is to live a happier life. Being well aware that we (probably) have all read or heard about silencing the inner critic, I will make this post as compact as possible.

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RESPECT ALL PEOPLE: ALL HUMAN LIFE IS IMPORTANT

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Welcome to planet earth, where the inhabitants tend to put value on a life depending on the social, economic and educational status of the life’s owner (the person). What a wonderful world where we regard the other as useless because their ‘miserable’ positions are not on par with those we occupy!

One of the problems facing our communities right now is the inadequacy in understanding and accepting the binarism of life. Things are always different (I choose not to use the word opposite) from each other and that is normal; that is how the universe is, and there is no problem with that.

One has to be poor for the other to be rich. One has to be educated for the other to be uneducated. One has to be the general manager for the other to be a cleaner. For my shoe to be repaired, I need a cobbler. This clearly shows that we all are different. For you to be who you are, I have to be who I am.

“In this age, what the human race does not need or miss is a person who disregards the importance of others based on feeble grounds.”

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Motivate Yourself


I gave birth to this post whilst taking a shower…

Many a time we find ourselves holding back something which is important just because we don’t feel motivated. Many a time we give ourselves excuses for not doing something, although it hurts us to see ourselves not doing what we are supposed to be doing.

We have passions but we hide them. We have dreams but we don’t pursue them. We don’t put in work. And we end up feeling bad for our lack of action. We feel sorry for ourselves for failing to be extremely passionate about our passions.

“If you want to be somebody in this world, stop giving yourself excuses, motivate yourself and get things going”

Seconds turn into minutes. Minutes into hours. Hours into days. Days into weeks. Weeks into months. Months into years. And we just…waste our lives. We waste our talents and time whilst doing things that don’t actually matter like browsing through our Instagram feed (or whatever keeps you from doing important things) when we could have been writing that song, novel, poem, play or whatever our different passions.

But why is this so? Taking it from me, and other people I’ve ever had this discussion with, I have come to realise that in most cases, we just lack motivation, something to push us into action. We want to feel inspired to do what we love. We know that we are capable and able, but we just…lack motivation! This is natural but then we tend to wait for others to motivate us. The question I have is; who are we waiting for to motivate us and why?

Through this post, I seek to tell you that you have yourself baby, and that’s 100% enough for you to get into action! Isn’t it ridiculous that we admit that we lack motivation and then go about seeking for it somewhere? Doesn’t the very fact that we realise that we lack motivation stand as a motivator for us to start doing something about our passions?

“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.” – Wayne W. Dyer

Isn’t it enough to say “I know I have a purpose to fulfil in this life” and then do something about it? Because you and I both know that the purpose we are meant for is not to scroll down through Twitter, Instagram or Facebook timelines – for no reason. I don’t mean to say that doing so is problematic all the time though. It becomes a problem when it prevents and stops you from doing things that really matter.

So having gone through 440 plus words by now, I think you’ve seen that you definitely don’t need no motivation from someone else. You can and have to motivate yourself. Whatever pushes you back, tell that annoying thing that you have a contribution to make to the world. Tell that nasty thing that you live for a purpose. You only have yourself to do that for you so start motivating yourself and working on that dream today. And oh, don’t we only have today since tomorrow is never promised? So start today, don’t give yourself excuses and don’t wait for tomorrow.

“Dreams don’t work unless you do.” – John C. Maxwell

As for me, when I sing along to John Forte’s ‘Nervous’ I substitute that ‘John’ name for ‘Victor’ in the lines:

“As with all things one day I’ll be gone from here / But not before I tell the world that John was here”

So brethren, what dost thou choose? To lock that passion up and live a purposeless and regrettable life all in the name of ‘lacking motivation’ OR to motivate yourself, put in work, get things done and pour your passion to the thirsty masses out there? The choice is yours, but if you want to be somebody in this world, stop giving yourself excuses, motivate yourself and get things going!

And…only people who love themselves motivate themselves!

That’s it, really.

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Copyright © Victor Zuze Davies 2017

All Rights Reserved

 

Being Judgemental

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Me: “This cake is not sweet”

You: “How do you know?”

Me: “Can’t you just see how it looks?”

Don’t I sound stupid here? We’ll get back to this later…

Being judgemental is defined as ‘having or displaying an overly critical point of view’. The words worth paying attention to, in this definition, are ‘overly’ and ‘critical’. You’re referred to as a judgemental person when you tend to be fault-finding, always searching and finding wrongs in other people. I have been among judgemental people, observed and understood them so in this post I highlight how judgemental people come across and the impression they put on people, something they might not know.

“The face is to a person what the cover is to a book – and we don’t judge a book by its cover”

A judgemental person judges people on face value, name or reputation. He acts as a ‘character’ detector.  He is the kind of person who just sees someone’s face and think and talk negatively about them. The kind who ‘can’ tell whether you are ‘morally loose’ just by seeing your face or your dressing. He tends to read faces and know people even without talking to them. He doesn’t care about your story, he doesn’t want to know it, just seeing you or a little conversation is enough for him to evaluate you. Our dear friend here, if you are lucky, will get your story from other people and judge you from that. He doesn’t want to hear your part, understand you or get to know you himself. All he does is censor wrongs and criticise, without fully understanding you and getting to know you himself.

“When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself” – Earl Nightingale 

So how do we speak of this guy? If we say he is negative, are we wrong? Of course we are not, it’s only right to say so. Judgemental people are negative people. Yes, we all judge others but what differs is the way we do it. If you are going to judge somebody, you ought to use critical thinking and use sound evidence. Be able to back your judgement up. Provide reasons for judging that other person and most importantly, get to understand them first. You don’t just wake up, meet a person once and rate them. There is more to them than meets the eye. Don’t judge a person on face value, name or reputation. The face is to a person what the cover is to book – and we don’t judge a book by its cover; the outside doesn’t always define the inside. You have to get to know them fully and be in their shoes before you pass judgements on them. Unless you’re God, knowing all people’s stories, don’t judge…really, don’t judge.

“You get to know the sweetness of a cake when you taste it, not when you see it”

Now back to the cake issue. Say you like cake, do you get to know the sweetness of it before you taste it? Exactly…no. You get to know the sweetness of a cake when you taste it, not when you see it. What this implies is that you have to get to know why the other person acts the way they do; why they dress the way they do, why they speak the way they do, why they walk the way they do etcetera. Don’t just jump into conclusions. If you just judge people any way you want without understanding or getting to know them first, you come off as a hypercritical person. As said a paragraph ago, judgemental people are negative people. And don’t people prefer to associate themselves with positive people to negative people?

“Even God doesn’t propose to judge a man till his last days, why should you and I?” – Dale Carnegie

As human beings, we feel better when in the presence of positive people and so we tend to get attracted to them. On the other hand, negative people repel us. Take it or leave it, if your life is to be a happy one, you will always need and want other people to break bread with, be it in the work place, at school, at church, at home, etcetera, so you need to be positive and not negative. So stop being judgemental, it’s not fattening.

That’s it, really.

 

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Copyright © Victor Zuze Davies 2017

All Rights Reserved.