We all have this self-judge, the inner critic, the ‘guy’ behind pretty more of the bad feelings we undergo in our daily lives. As human beings, we all are natural judges, but what differ are our levels of judging (as I pointed out in Being Judgemental). But the inner critic needs to be obliterated if one is to live a happier life. Being well aware that we (probably) have all read or heard about silencing the inner critic, I will make this post as compact as possible.
Take a look at the things you are supposed to be doing, the things that matter; those passions you have, but are not doing and see if you are not, to some extent (if not extremely), failing to take a step in doing them because of that tinny bitty little critic inside you. What story builds up in your mind when you fail to act the way you desire? What do you tell yourself for not showing off your hidden talents to the world? What influences you to view yourself as a ‘bad looking’ person?
“You have to silence the inner critic and allow yourself to take a breath”
Now take a peek at all the feelings that come with doing all the aforementioned. Is sadness not there? And all that because the inner critic was given a moment to speak. The inner judge tells you that you are not good enough, always. This guy stands there telling you that you are not good enough to be a musician, a designer, a writer, a comedian, a model, a chef, a professional photographer, an actor, a whatever-person-you-would love (not just like) to be! Who do you blame for failing to get ‘that project’ at work to work? You, you, you, you! And all this is because of that inner critic.
Having allowed the inner critic to talk, you become afraid of failing so you do nothing, you become embarrassed by yourself for ‘being’ bad (whether in appearance or your field of passion) so you loath yourself, you doubt yourself thence you become stagnant; unable to do what your heart tells you to do, you become lonely for not seeing yourself as well deserving of that significant other (what a thing!), etcetera. All these feelings drive you to that ugly town of sadness, making a happier life impossible. Why all this? That serpent called the inner critic convinced you to taste an apple of his deception.
You have to silence the inner critic and allow yourself to take a breath. Remember this, you are not a loser till you say it to yourself. The myriad of things you are not doing because you tell yourself not to do, the myriad of blames you take for having failed to do something, the sadness you feel for being stagnant, all that can end when you become a master of yourself; when you silence the self-judge and do what you have (and not just what you are supposed) to do.
“Why listen to that inner critic when you can narrowly shut it up and live a happier life?”
HOWEVER, note that it is one thing to be realistic about something you are
not good at meant for and another thing to criticize yourself in the above explained way. I mean try as hard as you can but at the same time remember that there are just some other things you could be meant for. Say I am a musician, if my music is not working out, I have to try all the different ways there are out there to perfect it but at the same time I have to know when to stop trying, not because I am giving up, but because I have reached a point where it is clear that I am not meant for music so that I try out some other passions. This is a post for another day but I just want to make it clear so that this inner voice that you hear is not misjudged also.
So why listen to that inner critic when you can narrowly shut it up and live a happier life? Silence the self-judge if you want to live a better life. Nobody deserves to be sad and you are no exception. Love yourself, stop judging yourself and start following your heart today.
That’s It, Really.
I intend to lay out a number of essentials for a happier life and this is just a starting point. However, you will notice that Loving Thyself is the first post on this and Being Judgemental also follows so make sure you also take a look at these two articles before we jump to another essential.
Love you, thanks for reading!
Photo By Yours Faithfully
© Victor Zuze Davies 2017
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